Hey everyone! I wanted to drop a little note to let you all know what’s going on in my world. I had a rough week with pain but I feel myself getting my strength back. I got feeling back in my fingers last night and was able to get a few drafts finished for my chapbook manuscript. I have all kinds of pains to deal with daily but for some reason my damaged nerves will flare up and when it affects my arms and hands I really have a difficult time because as a writer, those are my tools. 🙂 It usually passes with rest. And during my rest time, (if I’m awake, I can’t not work in some capacity haha but I have been sleeping a TON), I’ve been getting reading done and researching for another chapbook idea.
I should talk a little about these projects. 🙂 I settled on a theme and began the process of writing and it was some pretty heavy stuff emotionally for me to get into at the time. I vowed to keep working and I happened upon a chapbook contest with a deadline at the end of June. I handled NaPoWriMo alright so I knew if I just worked hard and focused I could get a MS finished and entered. One problem though. My theme doesn’t fit well with the theme for the contest. I thought about reworking the idea to make it fit, but then a muse entered. And she wouldn’t hush. I don’t want to give it away but I’m so excited for this. I had some themes floating around my brain and I managed to get four really good drafts finished in a very short amount of time.
I was doing some researching after coming across a few names in a book I was reading and this one just kept repeating everywhere. All kinds of themes and representations of this muse. I kept dreaming about it too! I would go to sleep thinking of lines to write and then they’d still be there when I woke up and they’d be accompanied by images from dreams I had so I definitely know this is a project that encompasses many parts of me. This will be the first time I’ve ever put anything together in book form so I’m truly believing that all signs point to this being a very good thing. I hope to meet the deadline for the contest. I truly believe I can get a manuscript finished by then, but I can never account for what my body will do and I definitely don’t like to force write. If I don’t, I’ll stick to my original plan of taking a whole year to work on a manuscript so if at the end of this year I have two that I’m going to send out wherever I can, that won’t be a bad thing either. 🙂
I will keep you all posted. I’m waiting to hear back from a couple of other publications at the moment and my poem “Sponge” will be in the next issue of Door is Ajar. (You can check out the current issue HERE) Work, work, work. That’s all it seems I’m doing lately. But it’s enjoyable, ya know? I live to write. I love to read. Editing sucks but hey, it’s part of it. 🙂 So, that’s where I’m at. It’s hard. But I’m milking the pain free moments for all they’re worth.
Hope you all have a great June! It’s my birthday month and I feel I’m starting it with a very positive mindset. I was getting down in the dumps last month. Transitioning to warm weather is never easy on me. I can’t stand it. I’m one of those “weird people” who just want winter and darkness 24/7. Thanks so much for all of your support! ❤ Enjoy this week's micropoem collection!
I’ll always remember
whether in passing
or right in my face
Thorns embedded,
and roots so deep
are stings difficult to forget
Amber ambience
Mango grove perfumed breeze
The dirt paths kept our secrets,
our footprints
Rustling trees whisper
our names
Never came to
to a sea
of smiling faces
Only angry oceans
I’m drowning in saltwater
tears and I’m
an evaporating puddle
The ghosts of our summers
& long forgotten decay
of our youth lost that day
lived on
as a sickness
after the lake dried away
I can’t see through
this fog, this cloud
The land, scratchy blanketed,
a doom shroud
Invisible, but thick,
hangs in crowds
No sharps
But there were already
tacks in my veins and I
Turned inside out to
show the white clad keepers
I could survive them
A cocoon
woven with memories
is comfy sometimes
Other times, a web of infinite nightmares
Which is why
it’s the place
to transform
I won’t lose sight of the good,
even if it hides in the darkness
I’ll go in & grab the gratitude & blessings,
let them shine
Resilience
beaded into our regalia
Strong hearts, patient fingers
Women elders taught me this
in how they still smile knowingly
Doors were to be opened
Unless forbidden,
with dragon growls behind them
By the imaginary glow
of crafted paper lanterns
quietly tiptoe past
School age rebellion
Hers fermented, aged
She croaks by the stern faced collars still
cutting the communion line
for a cheap thrill
without a sound
we waited
while the swallows, reborn,
walked on shaky ground
into the unforgiving dawn
Struggle & surrender
Let go & let
gravity win this battle
No choice
when you’re in the tightening grips
of the lightning within
How awareness of a heartbeat
can disappear, blood turning to dust
How stiff a tongue can get
when asked too many questions
Rowdy conversations
carry to all corners
on a stale night
Piecing bits
of them together can be
hilarious & terrifying
all at once
Actions
reverberated
so much louder
than
tiny mutterings
spread out on the table
Your tell
said not to
trust the river card
or you
Years passed, I saw her
finally
Surprised
by the smear of silver
in her hair
She looked smaller, delicate
Her proud smile
the same
The sky was smeared
with dripping watercolors
controlled by winds
Two crescent moon sails
head home as the heavy sun
hangs its lonely head
Carved in stone, you say
So why do you run away?
Be wind, unrestrained
Be a tempest, a fortuitous flame
But stay
Please stay
blood orchids
dark & lovely
Shiraz stained lips
& chocolate eyes
shining like oil
in the autumn moonlight
spill
on white sheets
A nightmare:
loud circus music
streaming from every
light source
You’re running
down an abandoned highway
and can’t see what’s
chasing you
She handled
the envelope like
an inferno
A torn letter
scattered,
falling like ashes
Remnants of
a disaster I
bared witness to
Topaz centers
burn a hole through me
I want to fade to gossamer
under your fierce stare
Silk catches flame quickly
with one subtle spark
By virtue of audacity
she flew,
breaking the sky,
making way
for a new voice,
stronger
& unwavering,
after a
near drowning
in ink
Love
on your birthday
Egrets have eaten your koi
but you say “that’s life”
Loss,
all the years I didn’t know you
I’ll reclaim
The rain caught me dancing
Clouds smiled
I splashed in puddles
Twirling like a top,
unafraid
Those were the days
Gardenia glen
The scene is more
yours than mine
I’m only a painted memory
on the wall of our old apartment
with a faded glow & torn edges
A dolphin
streamlining
under aquamarine sheen
The top boy swimmer at summer camp
He was a gleam,
a dream
He made girls jealous of water
bloodletting
cleanse your soul
by selling your sisters’ names
add them to the kindling
paranoia feeds off of accusations
of hysteria
A basket of chamomile
for our tea party
Petals pulled from your
birthday carnations
for me
All for me
a hedonistic escape
the beat poets
on a Sunday
our blood refuses assimilation
and our damaged kidneys
filter out frustration
Warning
in cumulus clouds
Prelude
to a day where shadows billow
Sheets
on the clothesline
Sky
taunts with a grey edge
Pushing through
Making waves
Madly pursuing
She’s running, running
A silver net cast into her indigo sea
Hold me
Come up empty
Gone like September
Moongazing
Wrapped up in phone cords
My eyes were never wider
I said you’d live for a long time
I’m sorry
Oh, she’s delicate
Crumbling to bits over his
soft breath on her neck
