#NaPoWriMo – Day 4: “Melatonin”

bear

 

Melatonin // by Jennifer Patino

 

I.

I see nothing through the blackness and then voices filter through crimson mists

 

blue lights turn on one by one

 

I am in a cabin and my Grandfather is chasing a bear out the door

He does this repeatedly, no one can see him except for me

The others keep letting the beast back in and suddenly

 

It’s snowing and I am outside
I can see the green of the shutters,
the treeline I swear I was familiar with at one time

There is groaning and gurgling
There are blood blisters forming on my icy wrists

 

The bear is pouncing on me, mauling me

 

Snow is silent
Like my screaming

 

 

II.

Later I am piecing together
cut scenes

 

Strangers ask me the most difficult questions

 

I see myself on every surface
I panic because I don’t think
I’m supposed to be

 

seeing myself,
here, like this

 

The brick wall is lined with other sleepwalkers
We are at a train station
I have no idea where we’re going

 

They are not mirrors

 

They’ve only stared into them for too long

 

like I did

 

when I had to prove to myself that I was real

 

 

III.

 

psychedelia is not too fun when you are unprepared to wake back up

 

 

IV.

This is my old street

 

I can tell by how the pavement feels beneath me

 

Carnations cloud and clutter my vision

 

I am still picking petals from my eyes

 

I think it has been four days since I slept and I am not afraid

 

I have been to worse places

 

The bear waits for me on the corner,

 

I keep walking

 

it’s growing

 

further and further away

 

 

V.

 

Vivid mimicry

 

a flashback

 

a bad dream

 

a demented memory

 

 

VI.

My Grandfather has been dead for years                 He could not

protect me

 
The bear is in a world I won’t enter by my own free will anymore

 

it still has parts of me

 

 

I see fog

 

I smell sunlight

 

I think I have awakened now

 

I think I might be awake now

 

I think I can get some sleep now

 

 

napowrimo2018

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